


On Snowy Mishaps And Dramatic Revelations

by DissociatingGhost



Category: Gintama
Genre: Casual Relationship, Established Relationship, Insecurity, Lack of Communication, M/M, Meddling Kids, Misunderstandings, Pining, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:40:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22441231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DissociatingGhost/pseuds/DissociatingGhost
Summary: That’s official. This was a bloody crime story about a group of acquaintances killing off the gay ones in a remote place.Or better learn to express yourself, before someone else takes matters into their own clumsy hands for you.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou & Kagura, Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki, Hijikata Toushiro/Okita Mitsuba ( mentioned), Kagura & Sakata Gintoki & Shimura Shinpachi
Comments: 38
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It picks up their relationship from " The Bill, Please.." ( casual and not to be spoken of), but it doesn't necessarily have to be related, these are quite different. Not in the level of self-indulgence though, tehee.

The snow creaked under their boots that were already soaked in this unplanned stroll through the snowdrifts with no roads.

Wherever he looked, the white was spreading out. 

Quiet, absorbing all sounds.  Enshrouding the ice-bound ground in a thick pall in which trees and rocks froze as immersed in a deep slumber. Only shimmering slightly in the pale moonlight, undoubtedly dreaming about something fairy-tale-like, they were embedded in their indifference towards human dilemmas and in this unusual stillness.

It was disturbed from time to time by a distant barking coming from the unclear direction. Apart from it, he could only hear his rapid breath, coming out of his mouth in a shape of white puff of steam, and the buzzing in the ears with his sweaty hair sticking to them.

He was unwillingly impressed by the pace which Hijikata managed to impose with a broken leg, going forward with no regard for anything.

He must have been exhausted too. If he didn't lose all sensation in the cold, he was definitely in pain from that fall from rocks.

On the one hand, he was curious how far the moody scoundrel could go led only by sheer stubbornness. On the other, they heated up during their hike.  He could already feel cold slowly creeping up on him which soon enough would chill them to the bone, they needed to cool down.

Ugh, how'd it come to this, him being the reasonable one?

As if on cue, the man walking in front of him staggered slightly, and in an instant he was right beside him to prop him up, but his outstretched hand was stopped by one word drawled quietly. In this silence, it sounded clear as a bell.

"Don't."

He didn't even look at him, pulling himself upright jerkily, staring ahead with his jaw clenched.

Ah, still angry then.

"Let's at least stop for a while, the moment wind hits our overheated asses is the moment we are turning in ice lollies," he said with a level voice, lowering his hand.

More relieved than expected he took note that Hijikata had listened.  Leaning against a tree, with the immobilized leg stretched out before him, he slid down heavily on the snow-covered ground.

He really didn't want to think about what he should have done, if the wounded, pissed off vice-chief had insisted on going further. Probably he would never have spoken to him again, had he taken advantage of his injury and forced him to rest.

It felt like he didn't need a lot to throw everything to the dogs and launch himself who-knows-where, march off into the blue.

Someone might gently inquire with a moderate amount of curiosity what events led to this, to this lonely and silent wandering in the middle of the night through the snowy slopes of the mountains, away from any human settlement.  However, he wanted to frickin shout the question.

HOW THE HELL IT CAME TO THIS?! 

Did it all begin with that evening in a dim-lit bar, with alcohol pleasantly buzzing in their heads, making their movements a bit less coherent and thoughts less guarded and more wandering? 

When in the middle of meaningless banter he grabbed the collar of Hijikata's out-of-duty yukata what resulted in a sudden close-up of all different shades of blue of his eyes, staring at him defiantly and haughtily even in the drunken daze.

When suddenly he was filled with mischief. 

Back then, it seemed hilarious to push the hot-blooded jerk's buttons in an unexpected way that somehow would have given him an upper hand.

Who knew that the prudish prick would treat that prankish and whimsical peck on the lips like a thrown down iron glove and will dive straight into this as into a battle?  How the hell was he supposed to know that he kissed the way he worked -  single-mindedly and devotedly, even while being sloppily drunk.

You can't blame him for an unexpected thrill and sudden desire to see the other man sober with messy hair, to observe the way he acts during the morning after, to learn all about different sides of him that were unknown to him in their friendship.

This in turn, what brought them together that evening, has been affected by years of acquaintance and shared fights.  And something fragile woven from those moments between them, but he wasn't going to inspect it closer, that wasn't the issue at hand.

That particular memory might have helped to warm up for a moment, but well, no, that wasn't it.  They could continue meeting up with that fake disinterest and a renewed, over and over again, exaggerated surprise upon meeting each other -

_\- oh my, who would think you were there, don't remember you mentioning that at all, exhaustion looks horrible on you, you look like a stray cat dragged through the pipeline, what about onsen? -_

\- they could do this _for years_ , that's how stubborn they both were.

But noo, that was too much to ask, to never examine closer particular stomach storms, some palpitations, and hot flashes. He was never the one in a rush to see a doctor or fret over some symptoms - why would he start doing that now?  \- and live happily in this blissful ignorance, with an unspoken longing for hell-knows-what. 

Apparently, it was not okay in some people's books. 

Apparently, it needed fixing. 

Apparently, it gave you a right to meddle in other people's businesses doing businesses and question in what circumstances they were doing those businesses. 

Yep, like most troublesome things it started with the kids. 

More precisely, it started with carelessly saying to them "For now, there is nothing to talk about" a few months ago, in reference to this whatever-it-was. 

Who knew it would become their point of honor _to make them have something to talk about?_

He couldn't predict it; there were no signs of upcoming storm, of hushed conversations and betrayal brewing in the halls of Yorozuya.

For months they didn't mention it.  Neither him going out alone at random hours,  coincidentally related to other people's work schedule, and coming back with mussed clothes and a  barely noticeable spring in his step, nor rumors of doom coming upon them when the particular demon of police force suddenly have started to smoke less and smile creepily out of nowhere, how Shinsengumi were on the edge of mental breakdown; it was nerve-wracking and agonizing, this waiting with held breath for outburst which wasn't coming. 

Something in the air was changing, but they didn't talk about it. 

Huh,  maybe that was a mistake, hadn't he promised to talk with them when there would be something to talk about? 

Oh, don't you worry, he could have made up some story alright if he just had known they were so keen on listening to it. 

Wasn't this strange, though? Since when they were so obsessed with details of his private life?  Usually, they would call it disgusting and embarrassing, and you two better keep your mouth shut and your hands where we can see them, or we are calling child protection services and making your life miserable forever. 

That would be a normal reaction, wouldn't it? 

Why did they suddenly start to act like nosy in-laws pestering about things which had nothing to do with them  ? Were they looking for some dirt on him, them, quite literal, if he could with satisfaction mention? That was too messed up, even for them and totally unexpected. 

The invitation to work part-time at a winter resort seemed innocent enough.  Otae inviting Kondo to come along was a bit of a stretch of goodwill, and by bit, he meant like a distance to the moon and back, and yeah, he probably should have stopped to think twice about it, but there was no bad premonition, actually, he could understand that.

She needed him to use for something just to toss aside later on.  It was some excellent strategic thinking on her part, using every accessible pawn to fulfill her whatever-plan. He should respect that and not meddle in. Requesting too much information was not encouraged behavior, it went without saying. 

He could probably have foreseen two closest friends of Kondo coming along with him.  One overworking himself, in urgent need of rest, other looking for any opportunity to idle and annoy the other. 

That way they all gathered in a breathtaking valley buried under snow, situated at the foot of mountains, surrounded by them and secluded. Connected with the outside world only by a rusty bus going a winding road once a three day, on the random hour so nobody could know for sure when it will be coming, usually passing the resort like a ghost. 

In short, in the place that almost looked like a perfect setting for a locked-room murder mystery. 

He had this thought at dinner upon arriving. 

On the spur of the moment, he sat beside the vice-commander of Shinsengumi who, with his clothes drenched, looked like a wetter, more miserable version of himself. 

All due to a snow fight that had broken out just outside the door.

Unpacking his things he missed its beginning.  He came just in time to see Kagura throwing an alarmingly huge snowball at startled Hijikata while shouting viciously, "You-don't-get-to-keep-someone-as-a-dirty-secret-stupid-mayora-ice-attack! " 

Hijikata somehow dodged it, what seemed humanly impossible,  just to be assaulted by  Shinpachi and a series of carefully aimed shots. 

"With all due respect, you-need-to-think-about-your-intentions-avalanche-attack!" the boy proclaimed sending snowballs straight into his head.

"This seems like no respect at all!" the officer snorted, spitting out the snow.

"That's the exact amount you deserve," Sougo didn't miss a beat to join in on taunting him, even if he didn't quite know the reason yet. Not like he needed any.

"Check the bottom of a chasm for some criminals, rotten vice chief." He flung a bunch of snowballs at once at him, dropping all pretense and not masking the insult as the name of the attack.

Well, on a typical day it would be funny.  Playfully ganging up on someone who didn't need any help anyway, but something about this picture didn't sit quite right with him.  Like he had eaten something not entirely spoiled, but not entirely right either, a feeling of slight discomfort.

Maybe something about wording, something about the way kids called their attacks, as tango didn't need two.  Before he could remember have they taken any medicine with them, and how you could pick a side without making it look like picking a side, Kondo entered the scene to save the day. 

"TOSHIII!" He darted between them and unceremoniously leaped into the path of attack. Arms outstretched like some dramatic anime heroine, to catch all the snow thrown at him." Don't worry, I have your back!"

He started his counterattack with some icicles tossed at Sougo. "Your swordplay is excellent in more than one way!" 

Before they could question the double meaning of his words, he cast a chunk of frozen snow at Kagura with loud "Your fighting spirit is something to be envious of! " 

Lastly, he turned to Shinpachi and shouted excitedly, "You have nice glasses! "Either this or a handful of snow delivered to his face had the boy spluttering like fish. 

"Toshi," Kondo looked then to his vice-commander and put a hand on his shoulder. "I couldn't have imagined leading Shinsengumi beside someone else." 

Then, he smiled at him brightly, and suddenly the surly samurai seemed less annoyed, and-

Well, it just made everyone uncomfortable.  Read a room and follow exact instructions of a game, don't  just make up your own and throw some unsolicited compliments around, gorilla! 

It was a perfect moment for Otae to appear at the door of their living quarters." Stop dicking around, the food is waiting." 

Her smile had an edge to it that had them immediately brushing off the snow and in a row to the entrance.

On the way to it, he accidentally tripped Kondo up. Oops, must be gorilla's slick-talking, he clumsily slipped on it, what a klutz.

While the poor man was getting scolded for messing around, somehow he ended up sitting beside Hijikata and opposite Kagura. The latter one immediately glared at him like he had stolen her snacks.

It was too early for that. He preferred eating them after dinner; he stared right back at her. 

"Is a look of a drenched rat popular now among Shinsengumi?" he asked no one in particular.

Kagura raised one eyebrow in a way she definitely had practiced in front of a mirror. 

He raised both.

He was going to win this glaring contest.

"Y-you don't get to talk about fashion, aberration of samurai and every look." The officer's response was immediate and uttered despise chattering teeth.

Gintoki probably had laughed at him for a long time, until he finally would have changed his soaked clothes, but, ah, behind them was a fireplace burning with a crackling fire, so he let him be.

Just to conclude that his engagement with the game was one-sided. Kagura abruptly broke their eye contact and turned to Shinpachi, sitting next to her. She gave him a pointed look whose meaning he couldn't decipher. He didn't have time for that as the teenager looked at the policeman.

"Hijikata-san, I don't know whether you've heard, but on every long trip of Yorozuya we have a certain ritual to recreate to ensure a good fortune ."

"In a similar way to barbarian tribes?  "Shinsengumi member asked with an unreadable face,  carefully picking up bite-sized meat from a grill built into the table.

Thereby stopping eyeing the kids weirdly, like looking for a lost clue, what he had been doing since the snow fight.

Shinpachi wisely chose to ignore his slightly provocative words. You don't pick a fight with the demon vice chief twice a day, well, unless you are a prodigy sadist. Or just a sadist.

"Due to mental injuries I  just got, I can't participate in it. Could you stand in for me?"

"I choose to decline that kind offer," Hijikata answered smoothly, not missing a beat.

Gintoki unwittingly smiled under his nose. The kids had to up their game if they wanted to lure him into their shenanigans. 

Wait, what was the game again? What precisely those devil spawns were trying to do? What's up with the sudden atmosphere of intrigue and hidden motives? And prolonged staring at each other with unclear intention, was he supposed to do that too?

Well, it's not like he had any reason to objectify, Shinsengumi were free to get their feathers ruffled by anyone. 

Meanwhile, Shinpachi had the decency to look bashful. "I understand. That was disgraceful of me to ask you of such a thing in the first place," he sighed.  "I  just wish that we could spend this winter break peacefully, not haunted by a vengeful ghost who can't stand us enjoying a single holiday with no accident. "

Hijikata's chopsticks froze on their way to his bowl. 

"A vengeful ghost, you say?" he asked casually,  slightly leaning back.

"Yes, unfortunately, Gin-san seems to attract this kind of spirits lately."  Forget any decency, Patsuan apparently had balls to lie straight to their faces and make up an unrealistic story right on the spot _for no reason_ whatsoever.

Before he could throw some rice grains at him, or do anything,  really, the boy had the audacity to lean in and wink-wink-nudge-nudge whisper, "You know his past ."

He frickin choke on his first bite of meat in all week.

Oi, what that four-eyed brat was doing?

_Did he just casually mention his past of Shiroyaha, out of nowhere and in front of Shinsengumi? _ Had they ever talked about it, even? Why bringing this up now, he wondered while coughing violently that earned a passing glance of the man sitting beside him.

"Not to mention, he is such a slob who has difficulty finding his socks among a mess he had made himself.  If he had been in the Shinsengumi, he would have broken every rule, "Kagura suddenly joined the party whose theme,  apparently, was bashing him.

"Twice. To make a point, "Shinpachi added helpfully.

Oi, oi, why nobody had mentioned this meeting was that for.  He would have brought his notebook with self-deprecating jokes and who would feel out of place then, losers?

"Oi, brats, Gin-san is still here, have the common decency to badmouth me behind my back." He finally could apathetically start to chew a piece of meat that had tried to kill him. It tasted like revenge.

Kagura promptly ignored him. 

"We are extremely moved and grateful you want to be friends with him.  You need to think about your future and what's best for you, though," she continued in a tone of worn-down mother, tired of the antics of her troublemaking son. "  Maybe  you need to look for another playground."

Oh, crap. That sounded quite ambiguous, didn't it? Like the kids were hinting on something they _weren't_ supposed to know.

After all, he and the hot-blooded tax-theft had a mutual agreement not to tell anyone about their.. shared playtime. Not to jeopardize their positions or other relationships. Not for a meaningless but controversial hook-up.

Besides, talking about something pointless could give you the wrong impression that it wasn't pointless.

That was their reasoning back then, which,  frankly, he had difficulties to remember now.

He very carefully avoided looking in the direction of other samurai and set for subtle glaring at the kids that probably gave him a cross-eyed look.

"Before that, let's not forget our Yorozuya thing, the ritual. We need only some blood, one tooth, and a few mushrooms. Then we can proceed to chanting and dancing."

Did those little shits _on purpose_ were trying to sound weird and behave like a more creepy version of themselves? And selling it as a Yorozuya thing? Without consulting him first?

He was an undeniable expert in a field known as Making-Anyone-Uncomfortable-One-Way-Or-Another, excuse-him-much. 

He would have done this with a finesse they lacked, not making him question their common sense.

The key was to focus on small details,  slowly but steadily proceeding. In the beginning, your victim will not even question your strange behavior.  In the end,  however, they will question themselves, their sanity and their ability to process things.

Ah, did their cunning get to him and he sounded like a gaslighting monster? That led him to another, more urgent question - was it a horror story? 

Or murder mystery one, where all started with a group of acquaintances stranded in a remote place.  Some secrets and old grudges revealed with each passing day, unnoticed tension growing here and there.  Where one morning they would find a dead body of someone of them, stuck to the dining table with a dull knife, all plates shattered. That way they would need to use the plastic ones and eat separately in their rooms. Isolating each other even more and provoking the killer to go on killing rampage.

"Ah, there is no need for that. "This throwing him under the bus for no reason could not go unchallenged anymore. He needed to cut it off right at the beginning, that wasn't the right behavior for underlings. "The Thing canceled it." 

"The thing?" Patsuan was bold enough to look puzzled.

"The Thing," he affirmed with all authority he could muster.

"Could you for a moment stop kicking each under the table, I can't spread mayonnaise  evenly  ." Their struggle for the upper hand was interrupted by annoyed Hijikata.

Something in his tone was apparently enough to make the sparks fly, along with their bowls. In answer to his request Kagura kicked their table with such force, it sent flying even the built-in grill.

Such malice was a bit unusual for her, he thought while a housekeeper scolded them and threatened to throw them out into an upcoming blizzard. She never had anything against Hijikata, did she? If he remembered correctly, he was the one she would turn to in a moment of distress, shouting "Toshi" and "Help me out", while he reluctantly would ask her not call him that and did as asked.

It definitely did not merit a vicious look she had sent the officer on her way to the woodshed. There, with the help of Shinpachi, she was supposed to chop down some wood to make up for the broken plates.

Such a strange defiance, what did it remind him about? He was still pondering over it when a chocolate muffin appeared in front of him.

He looked sideways at Hijikata.

Arms crossed, the man was studying him with a blank face.

"What's their deal?" Ah, he wasn't the one to beat around the bush. At least not in some situations.

Did he really think one muffin was sufficient to make him stay to talk about things he had no intention to talk about?

The answer was yes, until the last crumb. 

It would be suspicious otherwise.

"No idea, "he mumbled between the bites.

Well, to be honest, he had an inkling what the strange kids' behavior was about, but he needed to talk to them first.  Privately.

"Is it something you would tell even if you knew what was going on?" Oh my, he was like a dog with a bone, refusing to let it go. Let it go, turn away and slam the door, stubborn mule.

"Am I  really so shady in your eyes? What that says about you, vice-commander, getting involved with such a person?" he sent him a lopsided smirk.

Unfortunately, the taunt in his voice was not enough to distract the policeman hot on the trail of something suspicious. "Did you tell them about us?" he asked, frowning.

Ah, proceed with caution and the correct amount of nonchalance.

"Is there any us to talk about?" The moment he uttered it, he cursed inwardly. Somehow it sounded a bit over the top, but, well, it wasn't a lie.

Not like not mentioning that the kids had figured out the nature of their relationship on their own was a lie per se. Hijikata just really didn't need to know that. It would raise too many questions he felt uncomfortable to answer. Or hear the other man answering them.

As if. It was just troublesome, and he had better things to do than participate in a soap opera.

For instance, clearing snow off the winter resort, the job he had come here for. Building a snowman.  Burying under it his traitorous kids in sacrifice to the mountain gods, local people surely would be grateful.

And apparently checking on Hijikata who suddenly fell silent. 

He glanced at him.

Still frowning, burning holes in the table with a glare, like it owed him some money. Or concealed a groundbreaking clue.

Don't ask him how he recognized that look, trespassing a crime scene was a crime itself, he never had a sudden urge to take a look at people working there.

"What is it?" he found himself asking against his better judgment.

"Do you remember what they were shouting during the snow fight?  I feel  like they are saying something to me in a very roundabout way."

Oh, damn. 

"Oh, what, them? We are still talking about them?" he  casually  picked his nose." Did they say anything significant at all?  Weren't they shouting "Kamehameha" and "Now dance Hijikata dance, they call you a homewrecker, you are only happy when you are on the run", some random song lyrics? "

This still could be called a genuine question, not a lie.

He really needed to talk with the kids. He didn't want to feel guilty for something he wasn't responsible for.

Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to go after them. He was still speaking with other samurai when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Don't you have a job to do?" Ah, the housekeeper was breathing down his neck. His build resembled that of Saigou, owner of okama club back in Edo.

Needless to say, he felt encouraged enough to go to do what he was asked of.

When he talked to the kids a few hours later, they had already proceeded to another part of their plan.

As far as carelessly said words were concerned, there was no way to take them back.


	2. Chapter 2

Clearing the snow off routes around the resort’s buildings turned out to be an absorbing but straightforward task. Scooping, lifting, throwing. Repetitive shoveling was somewhat mind-numbing and refreshing at the same time. And flat out draining.

While he was focusing on the white ahead of him, the nightfall came upon him like a theft. It was bringing with itself an intensifying gusty wind.

“ Chop-chop, cover the paths with it, “ the housekeeper threw him a bag full of salt. Then, he proceeded with the other along the walkway. For a moment, he stopped to look to the north. From there little snow particles raised by the wind started hitting them in the faces. “ The blizzard is coming.”

“ Hm, “ he merely hummed uncommittingly. He was miles away already; in a hot bath he could share with someone else. It could do wonders for his sore muscles. Before that, he thought lazily, brushing off the snow and taking off the boots indoors, he had an explanation to bring out.

“Don’t you have a ritual to pull off?” He leaned nonchalantly against the door frame of a room, where Shinpachi and Kagura spread themselves out on the floor.

Kagura glared at him from the ground, not moving an inch, and their permanent straight man sighed. “ Wasn’t it canceled by The Thing ?” He mumbled, not even caring to sound sarcastic.

“ Oh, no, I’m not talking about that one. I'm talking about a self-cleansing ritual, performed after blatant lying and public slander of your guardian.” His voice was as smooth as silk.

Patsuan sent him a sideways glance, and Kagura murmured something under her breath, strangely resembling “ too much mayo.” 

“ What do you want us to say?” Shinpachi was back to looking like a dead fish washed up on a seashore. He even had a suited empty look in his eyes, just before he closed them.

“ An explanation would be a good start.” He dropped his act and sat down cross-legged between them.

It seemed they also were worn out after a long day of working outside. 

Good. It should ease the interrogation.

Whatever the boy wanted to say, Kagurara beat him to it. “ You suck. Both of you,” she declared, and it is evident to everyone in the room she meant him and Hijikata.

Well, _yeah_ , and _well_ , but she probably didn’t mean it that way.

Shinpachi groaned like he knew what he just had thought. “ We only wanted to help you, “ he admitted quickly.

“ With what? How starting a snow fight with a police officer is helping anyone?” he asked innocently. Their behavior clearly concerned his whatever-relationship with Hijikata, but he still didn't understand the purpose of it. To put them at odds? To passive-aggressively express their disapproval and discomfort at the idea of them? After a long period of forbearing it?

It definitely could seem that way. For Hijikata looking at them sideways, he personally wasn’t so sure. It most definitely was something stupid they came with because of an even more stupid reason. He wanted to hear it first, though, before explaining it to the tax-theft.

“ Well, we can’t proceed with our plan anyway. Somehow it doesn’t seem such a good idea now,” Shinpachi muttered hesitantly.

“ It never was, ” he assured him.

“ You know nothing, Sakata Gintoki,” Kagura stated in a grave tone.

Shinpachi sighed again. “ The snow fight was the first step, but its point wasn’t to fight. It was to tell our sort-of-although -not-really shovel talk.“ 

Oh, right, they were shouting something annoying in-laws would have been. Don’t blame him for not paying attention, he was distracted by gorilla and his useless ability to say embarrassingly honest things.

“ Some things to think about for Hijikata-san. Subconscious thought-provoking while he was focused on dodging. Food for thought delivered with a snowball. ”

Okay, first of all, someone needed to take away whatever Patsuan used to make him talk like _this_. Second, what they had been shouting again?

Something about the need to think about intentions and keeping someone as a dirty secret.

Oh.

He sighed. Suddenly he was glad he was tired. In a state of uncaring, when it was easier to swallow a bitter pill of mushy conversation. “ Is this about how I had said there is nothing between him and me deserving a serious talk ?”

Their silence was an answer itself.

“ That doesn’t make you happy.” Kagura’s voice was just above a whisper.

Ah, his bad, he actually wasn’t tired enough. Excuse him for a few hours of workout, then maybe, just maybe, they could proceed with their talk.

Or, yeah, just go ahead and slap him in the face. It definitely made him feel like that. Flustered and exposed. And _humbled_ , and fucking helpless, but then something else caught his attention.

“ Why did you start pointing out my less glamorous sides and frighten Hijikata with ghosts supposedly haunting me? If you are so keen on matchmaking us for real, shouldn’t you present me more appealingly? “ He asked unamused. 

Those meddling-in services sucked, big time. Not that he needed them, for fuck’s sake! And not like he wasn’t appealing at every angle.

“ Don’t sweat it. Only someone headstrong could date you anyway. Against all the odds.” Kagura’s answer was way too cocky for someone who drew upon her knowledge from draggy dramas. Besides, against all the odds? What kind of person did she see him as?! 

“ Isn’t it important to be aware of each other's faults?” she mused.

“ That’s a shame we didn’t get to perform the ritual. “ Shinpachi looked pensive.“ Research shows the bigger lengths you go for something, the more you cherish it. It's difficult to admit you have done some hard or stupid things to gain something worthless. “

Oi, wasn’t it an essence of various initiation rites? Putting through humiliating or demanding trials new members?

Who died and made Patsuan a manager of the yakuza gang? It seemed he said it aloud because the answer was immediate. “ I became him the moment I joined Yorozuya.”

Ooooh, look at that, the kid was growing a backbone. He was almost moved, except not. “Oi, am I that worthless thing in your equation?”

The boy looked at him with a blank face and very crafty - not really, not at all, Patsuan!- changed the topic. “ I hope Hijikata-san will understand.” 

He opened his mouth to jab at him, to answer, to say something lighthearted, but-

“ I don’t know,” somehow slipped out. He found nothing else to say.

He really didn’t know.

“You can’t meddle in other people's relationships, even with the best intentions and the best plan. There is no way to make anyone feel something they don’t or set the pace for them. What’s going on between two people, it’s only up to them to know.” And he didn’t talk only about him and the surly samurai.

Shame, he couldn’t ask a dead person some private things. Not without risking summoning some demon.

For the first time that day, the kids looked a bit disconcerted. But then Kagura’s expression hardened. “ So?” She watched him like a hawk.

“ So?” He repeated flatly. Goddammit, don’t expect him to read in mind, it was burdensome on a regular, slow day! 

“ What’s exactly going on between you two?” She spelled it out like talking to an old man who forgot to put a hearing aid in his ear. 

Ugh, um, what was that again? 

“ YOU DON’T KNOW, DO YOU?!” Realization crossed her face, and she gawked at him.

Why so surprised, Kagura? Someone could think she wasn’t a highly functioning human mess herself.

She definitely didn’t stop to think twice before assaulting someone.

"Big. Words.Hypocrite. " Each word was punctuated with a kick to his shin, as he wasn't already sore.

"We shouldn’t have done that, after all. I need to apologize.” Shinpachi stood up abruptly.

“ To whom?! ” he blurted out, enraged. And almost didn’t dodge an exceptionally vicious kick. It wasn’t such an easy task when both of them were dead set on not moving an inch from their spots on the floor.

Still, he was getting beaten, and slurs were thrown into his face, but Hijikata was the one getting an apology?! Showing some restraint in your act of goody two shoes wouldn't kill you, would it, Patsuan? 

“ Aaaaaah!” All of a sudden, the girl shrieked and rolled away from him to look out of the window. Behind it, there was only darkness and howling of the wind.

She visibly paled. Unskillfully masking a guilty expression with a nonchalance, she slowly turned to them. “ He is way too easy. Any girl making sad eyes and talking about criminals can take him away from you, “ she said with fake contempt.

“He is a cop! He is expected to react in these situations!” His reaction was knee-jerk.

Besides, he wasn’t an object to own. It would have made things so much easier.

"What did you do?" Shinpachi adjusted his glasses, like trying to get a better look at her. 

“That's what he is telling you? Gin-chan, the mother can not shelter you any longer, you need to grow up, “ Kagura clearly delayed her answer. 

"You didn’t." Shinpachi stared at her, astonished.

"What if I did. “ Suddenly, she met his judging look with her own - determined and challenging both at once. 

Ah, here it comes again - this calm anger brewing just under the surface and strange defiance. Where did he know this expression from?

“ I’m not doing things half-assedly, I didn't know there would be a blizzard coming.” 

Ah, right, he remembered.

She wore it in front of her father and Kamui, not intending to see any more broken bonds. Such an angry streak of protectiveness, why was he surprised?

“ What exactly did you do? What was the next step in your plan?” He asked calmly.

For a moment, both fell silent, then Shinpaschi’s glasses glistened ominously. “ A dramatical reunion.”

_Right._

Where were they taking those ideas from? He would bet his permy hair it was some shitty rom-com tv show that should have been annulled years ago.

“ The distance makes the heart grow fonder. Especially if there are some obstacles on your way, begging for cooperation. The icing on the cake - a reminder of what had brought you together in the first place. Excellent cooperation. “

Why suddenly he felt like Patsuan’s shadow grew a bit bigger and darker? He wasn’t the manager anymore, he was the mastermind plotting overtaking the world.

“Some obstacles?” He asked, not at all bothered.

“ Nothing too difficult. Just something my sister, Kondo-san and Sougo-san agreed to take part in. An obstacle course secretly designed to make you talk to each other.”

_Which required excellent cooperation?_

That’s official. This was a bloody crime story about a group of acquaintances killing off the gay ones in a remote place. What kind of storytelling was that?!

“I still don’t understand what you did,” he turned to Kagura.

“ According to our plan, we had to send you off to set positions. Any excuse worked,” she shrugged. “I told Toshi I lost my family necklace and asked him to look together for it. Somewhere in the direction of the course.“

If Hijikata believed Kagura owned any jewelry that she hadn’t traded already for food, then good riddance, he was too naive for this world anyway. 

“ But then we found out that the blizzard was coming and we canceled it. I forgot all about it,” she admitted casually.

Well, it didn’t sound so bad. Looked like they dodged a bullet on that one. _An obstacle course, really?_ Weren’t they all the participants of one for years now? Called Adult- Life-And-Making-A-Living-On-Your-Own?

But Kagura wasn’t done yet. Actually, she looked unusually sheepish.

“ Except I didn’t tell him that. I don’t think he has returned.” 

A deathly hush fell over the room. In silence, the three of them looked out the window, at the pitch -darkness. They could hear the wind picking up and the snow hitting the window.

Not like it was a reason to worry about the grown-ass man, wandering somewhere alone around the resort. Even if he consisted mainly of sheer stubbornness. 

He would sense the change in the weather and would direct his steps in the direction of a safe place. To arrive there before the upcoming blizzard and freezing night, wouldn’t he?

He was an experienced Shinsengumi strategist who grew up in the countryside, after all. He had to have enough common sense to do that.

Except.

Watching Shinsengumi members led to the realization that having common sense wasn’t a requirement to land that job.

“Are you thorny/ desperate/ crazy enough to join us? Cross the adjective describing you, and we will welcome you with the tyranny and the paperwork.” That sounded more like it.

Hijikata could be doing anything, really. From investigating suspicious activity in a sauna to carving snow sculptures in the shape of a bottle of mayonnaise. Straying too far from the road and getting lost. Slipping on a rock hidden under the snow or coming across a pack of hungry wolves. Anything.

A story he had heard that afternoon came to his mind. 

Feeling short of breath, he had stopped shoveling for a moment and had sat down on the porch stairs to enjoy the view in front of him.

Snow-capped mountains rising towards the blue sky, high above the forest. The crispy air and the blood rushing through his veins - turned out, it was a perfect moment to tell a creepy story.

At least in Soichiro's opinion.

It appeared that, according to local people, there was an enormous shadow slinking along the slopes. No one could tell exactly what it looked like. The only trail left behind were broken trees and gutted animals. Not to mention, the sinister silence of the forest in which all traces disappeared covered with snow or trampled by the escaping animals.

He had laughed back then. It was the story old like the world, telling about a hairy giant living in the mountains. Some called it Bigfoot or Yeti, but it was the only thing those creatures had - names and stories passed down by the fire on cold evenings.

Now, he wondered. Now, he remembered the nature of people living at the foot of the mountains.

They were men of their words.

Mountains commanded humility, after all.

If they said something was creeping out there at night, it probably was true. 

Maybe it was not hard to imagine being from a fairy tale, but it could be a bear. Awakened prematurely from hibernation, confused, and wandering. A lonely moose, with its mind twisted and stomach empty, lashing out on everyone. It could be some blood-thirsty Amanto, even.

Something Hijikata could not expect focused on finding the necklace Kagura supposedly had lost.

He slowly stood up and stretched. “Ahh, sorry, brats, it’s time for my walk before bed. If, by any chance, I meet any tax-theft somewhere along the way, I will drag them back. They can’t escape justice so easily.”

He leisurely turned to the entry. There were footsteps behind him. He stopped with his hand on the door frame.

“ It’s our fault that watching us dancing around each other made you feel you needed to react in the situation beyond your competence. Let this adult stop embarrassing himself and get this straight on his own. Don’t worry and get a rest.”

“ Alright, not a problem, “ Shinpachi said with a smile in his voice, in answer to his unspoken “ thank you” and “ sorry,” and “get lost,” hidden between the lines. 

“ You have an hour,” Kagura stated in a tone of merciful feudal lord. “ Then, I’m calling dibs on Toshi’s wallet.”

He smiled, and with that smile and a flashlight grabbed on the way, walked out into the night.

In an instant, he noticed that maybe they would have a chance at the dramatical reunion, after all. Penetrating wind, almost knocking him down, added an appropriate dose of drama. Mainly since visibility was limited due to intense snowfall, and he could see only a few meters ahead of him.

The ideal situation to bump into each other and fall into each other's arms. In the true spirit of melodramatic rom-com, the kids so insisted on.

Nothing like that happened, though.

Some time ago, he stopped seeing the lights of buildings behind him. He found himself surrounded by sticky, wet, and cold snow, slapping him in the face he could no longer feel. 

Was it a good idea to go for a search all alone, he wondered. And to think, he could have listened to Hijikata. The kids would have had nothing to worry about, and no one would have been freezing in a snowstorm for no reason.

Because he might have lied a little bit when he said both of them were at fault.

The kids most definitely would have said so, had they known a few weeks ago the cop had told _they needed to talk_. In response to which, he accidentally knocked him out.

What he can say, accidents happen and so pans conveniently at hand in a moment of puzzlement.

Don't blame him, he was conditioned, brainwashed to such a reaction. All soap operas showed these words were the ones to be in dread of. Something to avoid at any cost, they were not to be spoken of. Ever. In any circumstances.

_We need to talk._

Eww. Begone, unholy beast!

Let be clear - how exactly did he have to react when he out of nowhere heard You-Know-What? His warrior instincts kicked in, and he dealt with it in the one way he knew best - by attack. Basically, he got overwhelmed and treated Hijikata as a fly and smashed him with the pan. Tehee. 

Not his finest moment, he can admit it. Someone could say a bit out of character even. That what you get for trying to be nice and doing an omelet for your...sandbox- mate? 

Anyway.

Suddenly he felt chilled to the bone.

With every fiber of his being, he felt a cold, unfriendly space, extending behind the wall of snow, always at arm’s length.

A bit like Toshiro. Dark, unknown, beyond his grasp.

The thing is, as far as his own doubts and past demons were concerned, he knew their faces and could laugh at them, but, oh my kami, _someone else_?

That was all new, unknown universe. Vast and uncharted.

And probably it could be exciting, intoxicating even, indefinitely getting to know someone, but.

He had seen Toshiro in love. 

And grieving over it.

In his case, it meant utterly giving up on it. 

He knew what genuine person he was, loyal to a fault, he didn’t do things half-assedly, and yet. He totally cut off the person he loved, his resolve didn't even falter on their deathbed. It might seem noble as he did it for their sake, and as samurai, he probably should understand it, heck, he sacrificed a lot of things himself, but.

That was really scary, Mr. Policeman.

He didn’t understand it well, but there was something terrifying in his ability to do that, in this stubborn denial of his own happiness for good enough reason. 

Such self-deprivation putting an end to any possibilities and hopes, _and future._

Was it really only for good?

Such cold and lonely determination, it made you wonder did the other man ever wanted any relationship at all. 

How the hell was he supposed to reach such a person? 

How could he compete against that? 

Maybe Hijikata let himself get involved with him only because it was meaningless. The moment it would get more serious, he would find a good enough reason not to. 

Oh heck, there would be plenty. 

He could think of some himself, and he was the one who didn’t overthink a lot.

It rubbed off on him only because he knew _Hijikata_ would be doing this, overthinking and carefully categorizing every “no” against any idea of them, and-

He took a deep breath and pushed the sinking feeling away.

To hell with that, honestly, he would rather have his straight, shiny hair rubbed off on him. And not playing some shitty game, where every move meant a loss.

He laughed inwardly, unwittingly remarking how his own doubts have changed. A few months ago, his main one was more in line with “ Two grown-ass men doing inappropriate things to each other, who the hell wants that.''

Now, he wondered, he knew he could trust him with his life, but _his heart_ , on the other hand? 

The fucker. The little shits, now he was the one thinking in terms of ridiculous soap opera, that crossed the line.

Speaking of which, unexpectedly dark lines of trees rose above him.

He entered the forest.

There the wind diminished, and soon enough, it ceased altogether. The moon slid out from behind the clouds, painting surroundings with a pale light. He walked carefully and quietly between the tree branches, bent under the weight of snow. He didn’t immediately notice a dark silhouette of the man in the shadow of a fir-tree, looking thoughtfully ahead of him.

Trying not to think about anything unnecessary, he approached him. “ Walking around just before the upcoming blizzard is in high demand today, “ he noticed casually while trying to figure out what the other man was looking at.

Snow and more snow, topped with some snow?

In response, Hijikata only cast an unreadable glance toward him and took a deep drag on his cigarette.

" I have a nagging feeling it’s not the best idea. While a hot bath certainly is." He let the suggestion hang between them.

“ Can’t. Looking for something.” Response was curt and to the point. “ Besides, I stumbled across some puzzling tracks."

Ugh, of course, he had to act like a workaholic even on leave, what’s new?

“ If it’s about Kagura, she lied to you, and, I guess, it's my fault.” He blurted out before he could change his mind. “ She hadn’t lost any necklace of any dead relative, just-, “ he cut himself off in the middle of a sentence because suddenly Hijikata turned towards him and looked at him as if he were seeing him for the first time.

As if he punched him suddenly.

Something in his expression caught his breath, and for a moment, his mind went blank - _why he looked so startled, almost hurt_ \- but he didn't even have time to react, because then Hijikata all of a sudden turned and paced forward, deeper into the forest.

In long strides, with his hands in the pockets and back rigid and upright.

It wasn't like him, he watched him dumbfounded, to get angry in such a way. 

He was way too direct and hot-blooded for that. 

“ Not in this direction, idiot!” Ugh, good job Gin-san, obviously he had to react with anger too, in the situation he didn’t understand and which vaguely made him feel like an asshole when he wasn’t even trying to be the one, for goodness sake!

" Fuck off! " Ah, surly bastard was a toddler too, throwing a tantrum for no reason, let’s all do that, sounds like fun. 

" I’m a free man in a free country, and I can walk whenever I want!" He immediately started following him.

At that, the policeman simply shot off.

He just abruptly took off running and disappeared somewhere among the trees.

 _Was he serious?_ He looked after him, appalled. 

Yes, aggravated Hijikata sometimes would speed up his pace as if he was aiming to win a race walking competition, or looked one step away from smashing his own head into the wall, repeatedly, into unconsciousness, but simply to run off? He was way too stubborn and prideful for that. Thorny wolf, baring his fangs until the end. That’s why he liked messing with him so much in the first place.

So _that_ was some devotion to avoid a conversation. It competed almost his pan -smashing. 

Technically, as a fellow follower of such procedures, he could respect that and just go home, but he hadn’t given up a hot bath for that, to simply lose him in the forest in the middle of the night!

And jerk must have known it was like a red rag to a bull.

Gin-san was a simple man, after all. Tell him not to do something, and you just made sure he will definitely do that.

 _He knew that,_ right? 

Racing, so be it. 

Somewhere between dodging whipping branches and sliding down the hill, he forgot about his fatigue. Now there was only crispy night air, the earthy smell of damp forest cover, and a rush of adrenaline when he ran through the woods.

This all came abruptly to an end, though, when Hijikata in front of him all of a sudden stopped dead in his tracks.

He didn’t manage to stop at a time and slammed right into him.

The next thing he knew, they were flying through the air, limbs flailing, and then crashing into the ground.

Long story short, that’s how they appeared at the bottom of the canyon surrounding them with steep rock walls. Aside from Hijikata's sprained or broken leg, almost uninjured, only a bit bruised.

And stuck. 

"It's not like you, to rage in silence. You can get ulcers this way, you know? “He threw out somewhere in the air, looking ahead toward the dark line of trees outlined against the starry sky.

Starry, in a way it could only be on a freezing cold night, deep in the forest.

His friendly and generous icebreaker was met with silence.

It grew, slowly turning the space between them into something suffocating and awkward, unfamiliar, a foreign land not to be crossed.

Ridiculous, out of nowhere, feel that way after years of acquaintance.

“ I’m not mad at you,” the spell suddenly broke. 

“Rather at myself,” Hijikata admitted disarmingly honestly, so _him_ under the mask of hot-tempered and cynical Bakufu dog. “ I shouldn’t have expected- I just wish you had told me yourself that, instead of turning this into something ugly.” _They were supposed to be better than this._ For some reason, he sounded resigned.

Gintoki looked at him.

In soft twilight, he could clearly make out his silhouette, leaning against white tree, with mussed hair and fatigue sipping into his slouched posture. The pale moonlight tinted it with something melancholic and fragile, like a beautiful moment you wish you could enchant to keep forever.

“ Told you what?” In this silence of snow-covered forest, his voice came out somehow gentle and quiet, but surprisingly he didn’t feel the urge to clear his throat.

_Turning what into something ugly?_

“ That you wish to break it off.” The answer was curt.

And a load of bollocks.

What.

Oi, oi, what was he raving about? 

Did that coldness get to him too? 

It suddenly froze his blood, and he felt like a deer in the headlights, with a heart fluttering rapidly in the throat like caught bird’s wings. 

“ I think I would know that, “ he said casually, not trying not to flip.

In response, he got only one word. “Gintoki,” Hijikata sighed, and the dread settled itself firmly somewhere inside him.

What the hell, this out of nowhere calling their mothers given names, that didn’t follow the procedure. You can’t just do that out of the blue, rules-loving control freak!

Hijikata never called him by his name, ever. Did he? And since when did he sound so weary?

“ Just admit it. Last time I tried to talk seriously with you, you knocked me out. Don’t worry, that delivered message clearly and loudly - no need to cross the line and speak about non-existent elephants in the room. But, “ Hijikata looked sternly at him. “There was no need to involve the kids.”

Suddenly he was talking in his lecturing-cop voice, done-with-his shift-already-at-its-beginning. “That’s unhealthy, to force them into your private matters and stir them up against someone you stupidly got involved with. Not to mention, end a relationship for you.”

_What?_

Oi, what was this, out of blue Parenting 101? Didn’t the rotten vice -chief know telling parents how to raise their kids and pointing out their mistakes was an unspoken taboo? Besides, why did they skip immediately to the chapter on divorce and parting while having kids? Wait, ENDING A RELATIONSHIP FOR YOU? How did this even work? Sounded like a good idea to use cheap labor, but- how- why did he - there were some shitty clues gathering skills right here if he thought-

“Oi, who do you take me for? There is definitely the elephant in the room, I don’t need to use any kids to break up with people, not like-

“ _Great_ ,” Hijikata rudely cut him off. “ Tell the elephant to get lost and count that matter finished, then.” And just like that, he leaned back, disappearing from his line of sight behind a trunk of the tree, punctuating with that the end of their conversation.

He stared in his direction, bewildered.

Hijikata just _had_ to focus on the wrong part of his statement, didn’t he?

Well, it was the only part because he didn’t let him finish talking, goddammit! Not like he wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to tell-

Oi.

Did he just accidentally break up?

 _Great_ , surly prick. It didn’t go the way he imagined, definitely happened a lot sooner and caught him unprepared, but, all in all, _great._

Not that they had something going on to break it off in the first place. 

Ah, who he was lying to, he thought with a sinking feeling. 

They had.

It was something that made him feel an excitement he long forgot about.

Something raw. 

Something, in this moment of clarity, he admitted he simply wanted, his eventually hurt feelings be damned. 

He didn't crave easy, anyway. 

“Tell him yourself that. Why did you rush into the conclusion I wanted to break it off?” The words slipped out before he heard how it sounded. Attacking. Abort, abort Gin-san, they proved already it wasn’t the way to solve anything.

“ Kids involved themselves on their own, and they didn’t want to push us apart, but to some, hm, self-defining and acknowledging action,“ he added.

“Apparently, according to them, a guy can’t meet a guy for some fun without calling it dating.” At least, not too long. At least, not when he looked like he was not entirely happy with that setting. “ What can I say, turns out that they are unbelievably old-fashioned.”

What else did he need to tell? Or was it better to leave everything the way it was? For all of them?

“ They care for you.” Hijikata’s voice was quiet and unreadable.

Well, yes, their concern for him laid at the heart of all this, but that wasn't all. 

“ Not just me, ” he said against his better judgment. “ I think Kagura took tormenting you so personally because she has seen you as someone reliable. If I couldn’t do it, she expected you to do the adult thing and sort it out.”

Now, it was time.

“ And you tried. I didn’t intend to knock you out with the pan, but-” now, it was the time to drift off from those mushy tracks and tell a dirty joke. “ I panicked,” somehow he found himself saying instead,” it sounded like _you_ had enough of it.”

Hijikata's boots stilled.

Just a bit more courage. One more ounce of sincerity.

“ I really didn’t want to hear it, “ he added in one breath before he managed to self-sabotage himself and say something inappropriate. “ I still don't.”

In the silence which fell, he clearly could hear the beating of his own heart.

It dragged on one moment too long.

“Oi, say something.” He kicked Hijikata’s leg, for now, the healthy one. “ Toshiro, you silent-treatment prick. “ 

If he fell asleep on him, he was not going to vouch for himself, he would find the biggest chunk of frozen ice and would smash it right into his handsome face, or, like, half of it, and would laugh maniacally, and-

“ Let me stargaze without interruption, asshole,” Hijikata’s voice sounded near normal, except a bit pent-up, like caught up in emotions, almost _shy_.

Something grew deeper and deeper inside him at that, and then, the laughter bubbled up out of him.

 _So preciously transparent,_ he gleefully snickered.

Suddenly he felt like he was a teenager again, light-hearted, a bit turned on and dizzy altogether. Yearning.

 _Give him space,_ he reminded himself. _He just had thought there was some ridiculous elaborate plan to get rid of him._

“Have the decency to answer the confession.” Ah, it was straight-up crazy, him throwing around such words.

“ Do you call that a confession?” Forget any shyness, Hijikata was a prissy bastard, and Gintoki should have known better. “ You didn't mention any upgrade, so basically, we are back at restart point, with all limited inventory."

“ That was obviously implied, nerd,” he answered with a grin. “ All-in-one premium deal. Not some sporadic subscription, way too easy to neglect. If you want to. "

" Whatever, " Hijikata mumbled in response, and he snickered again. 

Before scooting closer to him and teasing his wannabe teenager ways, he had something to check.

“ My nerd?” he tried out. Yep, just like he thought, there was a ring to it. Hijikata didn’t utter a word, so he took it as acceptance. Permission to continue.

“ My poisonous nicotine freak.” He nodded to himself. Best regards, your diabetic sugar addict. My standoffish prick, your slobbish nightmare. My neurotic gay disaster, your abomination of human decency. 

There was something _harmonious_ in this. Like strawberry milk on the fridge shelf, something fitting, just _right_.

“ Frickin hell.” He heard muttering beside him, and then a familiar hand was on the back of his neck and he saw snowflakes on Toshiro's lashes.

He smiled against his lips and tugged him closer. 

“ DISGUSTING,” Kagura’s voice bellowed above them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If a few days later they had found some mysterious tracks in the snow, that's another story.


End file.
